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I was sitting reading an interview with Wagon Christ (back when he came through town in May) and it occured to me how little respect anyone in the experimental electronic music scene gets if their name isn't Richard James. You see, half of the questions were related to the then-new rumour that his good friend and Warp label-mate The Aphex Twin was thinking of releasing music again. Richard D James, the enigmatic Aphex Twin, hadn't released anything since 1998's "Windowlicker" (and not a full LP since 1996's "Richard D James album"). When the former was released rumours ran rampant that Richard was sick of the music industry and was just not going to produce music anymore, perhaps instead concentrate on his own burgeoning record label, Rephlex Records. Now, The Aphex Twin has such a large rabid fan base of creative munchkins, that any rumour you hear about him should always be taken with a couple dozen grains of salt. Hundreds of Aphex songs on napster (and other mp3 sharing programs) aren't him at all, but instead are actually people (ie: fans) releasing their amateur music with his name on it. In a recent interview about the new album Richard claimed that he STILL isn't producing his own music, and that this new album is just a collection of fake Aphex Twin songs he got off the internet, though it's clear he was just being an asshole. I've heard some stories that are pretty incredible. That he once ended a concert by putting a microphone into a blender. That he owns and drives his own scout tank. That he's put a piece of sandpaper on a turntable during a DJ set. (all of which appear to be true according to the unofficial FAQ). Other stories are just flat out unbelievable. I once read that the reason why Aphex Twin songs all sound so unique is because he's actually stopped using midi gear and instead has coded all his instruments and effects himself on his laptop (which would mean on top of being a spectacular musician and head of a record label he's managed to single handedly code higher quality sound applications than every sound engineer on earth). That the only reason he decided to release a new album is because he lost a portable MP3 player on a plane that contained all the songs. Another, was that one of the stranger more un-listenable parts of the second track on the Windowlicker single was not actually music at all, but just his picture turned sideways and loaded into music software as a sound wave (this rumour actually turned out to be true). So when people started saying that he was DONE with music I dismissed it as just another crazy story. But as time marched on, more and more sources reported the same thing, Chris Cunningham (the director of the amazing windowlicker video) said in an interview (where once again half the questions revolved around his relationship with you know who) that the song was several years old when it was released and that Richard didn't plan on selling his music ever again. It seemed that no matter who you were in electronic music, if you had any ties to The Aphex Twin, he would be all you could be asked about. "How's Richard these days?" "Is it true he's not releasing music ever again?" "Do you know why he chose not to?" The man's cult following was, and still is, incredible. What's most remarkable about this devotion, is that he pisses in the face of his fans and fellow musicians at any opportunity he can. Outright lying in interviews just to get a rise out of people, criticizing other peoples music and publicly announcing who's asked him to remix their music or produce their next record and where he told them to go when he refused. Once a group named Jesus Jones had asked him to remix a song so he sent them an unlabled tape chosen at random from his stack of songs in progress, to this day you can still buy it. It's hard to find an argument against all this devotion to the guy, as I write this I'm listening to the new cd and I can't help but think to myself "man this motherfucker is GIFTED... maybe I'll put his name on a few more of my songs and upload them to kazaa." Every single musical act that I really care about is quick to name Aphex as a huge influence. Autechre once said: "there was a time when there was only Richard". Frankly as much as he's a prick he DESERVES to have the worlds tongue up his ass. I remember back in 1991 when I first heard "Digeridoo", I thought it was one of the coolest things I'd ever heard. Heck even now, TEN years later, it stood up to the test of time. Find me something else from 1991 that you can say that about. Anyway, today is the release date of what eventually DID come out, the double cd "Drukqs". His first album in almost 7 years. Hence this post. Oh right, this post. I'm rambling, back to the point: Over the last few weeks everyone I know has been regaining their Aphex-fever, including the guys in #Buzz. Buzz is the quasi-opensource software I attempt to write music with, and the channel is a cool place to meet like minded music fans and trade mp3s and synthesis tips. One day a while back the guys were making fun of "Rebirth", a 909/303 emulation software package sold to little kids (I guess) who want to make "COOL HOUSE MUSIC". The roland 909 and 303 are staples of generic techno music and frankly I think Rebirth is the crayola of music software. Simply click the BD button for a bass drum, the CL button for a clap, the SN button for a snare, you get the idea. Someone said something to the effect of "cmon, the 909 isn't so bad, I'm a sucker for the old BD OH BD OH BD OH." (meaning bass drum, open high hat, bass drum, open high hat, bass drum, open high hat, the tried and true "oooot aaaat" or "whoomp tsssss" that every classic "four to the floor" house song employs. I think I said something like "who do you think you are, Daft Punk?" A few people thought that was kinda funny and tried to come up with 909 lines that would be similar to music artists we all knew. I laughed my ass off, and I think what to me was really funny to me was imagining an IRC chatroom full of all the musicians I listen to arguing over the best use of the out-dated 909. Especially since house DJ's like the ever-boring and ever-worshipped "Plastikman" Richie Hawtin must sleep with one under their pillow. To me the possibilities were endless, so many jokes could be made, so I tried to write a fake irc chat log about it. And I guess because of the Aphex Twin focus at the time, the main focus of that chat is Richard D James being himself, pissing in peoples faces and kicking them from the channel. And of course everyone arguing about the 909. I never really gave it out to anyone. Mostly because other than me and my music partner Dan (who helped me find the best ways to make fun of the crystal method) no one really found it funny. I guess it requires a lot of knowledge of this circle of music, and irc culture, both of which are rare. Even if you GET the jokes, finding them funny is another matter altogether. But hey, Richard finally released his album, so here it is, give it a read. If you're one of the 5 people on earth who find it remotely entertaining drop me an email or fill out a comment. Before you bitch me out though, realize that this IS a joke and shouldn't be taken so seriously. No, I don't think Plaid rip off Aphex songs. No, I dont think that Moby is a nazi. No, I don't think Richard Devine talks like Jeff K. Obviously I don't know any of these people, I'm just poking fun at them and the facts and rumours that are spread about them. I don't know enough about Richard D James to think that he's at all like this, in fact, I'd say that I'm probably putting the worst of my personality into his character. But hey, it worked for me. Ok, I admit it... I do think Moby is a Nazi. (note: I am DAMN proud of my dynamic expanding iframe, but if it doesn't work in your browser, just click here instead) |
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